Thinking Of You
by misslhydagee.sd.migs
Summary: Katy Perry song inspired BioSpecialist moment :)


THINKING OF YOU

~Comparisons are easily done once you, had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from a tree I pick the ripest one; I still, got the seed.

It was no denying the fact that even Simmons, with her 2 PHDs and one of SHIELD's brightest Biochemist, she's still human and that she is prone in falling in love. She expects that she'll be fawning after her lab-mate Leopold Fitz, SHIELD's Engineer, but she's oh so wrong. When the Specialist, one of SHIELD's best, came into view that's when everything's change.

The first time they met, she unceremoniously swabbed a cotton bud inside his mouth, taking him off guard. She knows he has this enigma. A masculinity that you can't escape, he knows that she's way too smart for him, but oh so HOT with that accent of hers.

They had plenty of moments together. Accidental, yes, but it definitely brings them closer. Closer than what they wanted to admit.

The Berserker staff for instance, she told him that he's afraid of heights, he told him that he'll catch her when she falls. He meant it. He did. She trust him. She did. Then the Asgardian owner of that staff calls her the most beautiful woman he had seen for a thousand years and calls her his English Rose, he really want to rip that Asgardian God's heart out of his chest. This is not rage, he knows. It's jealousy. He's jealous. He is. Later that day, he didn't apologize for his outburst yesterday, instead he slept with Agent May. He wants Jemma to be jealous. Very jealous. That morning, she knew. She's not mad nor jealous. She's livid and covetous.

Time passes by and they still avoided each other. But when the Alien virus affected Jemma, she thought that she doesn't want to infect her team further. So she jumps. The wind was harsh around her face. It makes her eyes water. Then from afar, she saw him. Grant. It's maybe the effect of the virus taking over her that she's starting to hallucinate. Grant, on his part, was livid that she's just throwing her life away like that without him telling, so he do what he promised her, he'll catch her. And catch her he did. He inject her with the antidote while they're on air above the Atlantic. And when they were enveloped by the chilly sea, she hugs her. He backs away, gave her a reprimanding stare then kisses her. Hard, punishing, hot, deep, passionate and knee-melting.

"Don't do that again."

"I won't."

"Promise me Jem."

"I promise Grant."

"Good."

"I know you'll catch me though."

"Yes I will."

"Grant.."

"I love you Jem. I do. Still do. Will do."

"I love you too."

Then they kiss again. Later that night, after his 9 orgasms and her 12, they lie, legs tangled on his sheet.

~You said move on, where do I go? I guess seeking best is what I will know.

When the news broke into SHIELD that Grant is HYDRA, Jemma wanted to die on the spot of the conference room. It's been months since the sex and she feels disgusted. They kept it a secret. Classified. She fought back the tears. She wanted to know the answers.

He was captured, jailed on Vault D. He knows that one of this days, she'll be coming through the door and ask him a lot of questions. That did come, it wasn't just what he's expecting.

"Did you seduce me so you can get me to change my allegiance so you can use me? Was it all a lie?"

He knows she's livid. With her rigid posture, her tone. She's not mad. She's fuming.

"No."

"Fuck you! You even throw me out of the Bus. You promised me Ward. You'll catch me but you let me fall."

Her tone is sad and heavy with disappointment. He can take her angry disposition, not her tears.

"I'm sorry."

"Liar! Murderer!"

He bow down his head. Released a breath that he never knew he hold, then speaks.

"When I entered SHIELD, I know that I shouldn't be emotionally attached to anyone of you. But I did. With you. I try to wave it off by sleeping with May, but it's futile. When I know that I have fallen in love with you, I know to myself that it's a risk but it's the happiest day of my life. I didn't intend to do that to you but it's easier to know that I've dropped you than shoot you myself. If you didn't survive the fall, I plan on murdering all HYDRA then kill myself so I can be with you. I'm sorry that I didn't kept my promise. Hate me Jem."

She's stupefied. She's frozen on her feet and tears are gushing on her face. She's decided.

"It's over Ward. Goodbye."

She cries herself to sleep that night with a picture of her ultrasound hugged and tucked on her chest. It's Ward's child, she knows it. It's definitely his and she's keeping it because she's not a murderer.

News that Jemma joins HYRDA as a spy makes him nauseous. It makes him giddy. What if something happened to her. He needs to save her and make sure that she's alright. He escaped prison. She was alerted to it. They met again, a gun aiming at him but in a blink of an eye, it's his gun pointing at her.

They glare at each other. He notices that she has change physically. Her hair is shorter. Her breats are bigger. Her hips wider. She noticed that the beard suits him well. He's more muscular. He lowers the gun and stalks off, away from her.

~Cause when I'm with him I am, thinking of you. Thinking of you. What you would do if you were the one I wish spending the night? Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes.

She's back on her own lab. She hides her pregnancy very good. She doesn't want him to know. She's mad at him for hurting Fitz. He loves the guy, but not the erotic love she has for him. It;s platonic like what brothers and sisters have.

They're still enemies but he keeps a close monitoring on her. Made sure that his men will never dare hurt her or else, they will never see the sun rise again. They wittingly agreed with his orders. They know that the brunette is the fancy of their head.

Her pregnancy was revealed when Fitz playfully tug at her lab coat when he accidentally spills some chemicals unto it. She tells him the truth about the child's father. Lucky her, all of them were supportive. Fitz, the gentleman as ever, stepped up and told him that he'll take responsibility.

"I will never let that innocent child to have a murderer as a father."

She felt the tears in her eyes, not because of Fitz's chivalry but because she still wanted Ward to step up and take them away.

~You're like an Indian summer in the middle of a winter like a hard candy with a suprise center. How do I get better once I had the best you said there's tons of fish in the water so the waters I will test. He kissed my lips I taste your mouth, he pulled me in I was disgusted with myself.

That afternoon Bobbi was asking her about her covert affairs with Ward. She honestly answered all her questions except one.

"Do you still love him?"

"No. Not anymore."

Night came she was cuddling with Fitz on the sofa while watching Doctor Who when Fitz suddenly kissed her. She let it. It was soft and pleasant but it's not warm and loving like Grant. Fitz starts to unbutton her blouse but she fought it and backs away from him.

"I'm sorry Jem."

"It's fine. I'm tired Fitzy. Gonna go and sleep."

On HYDRA base, Grant was informed that Jemma already moved on. She's pregnant with Fitz's child. No it's not the right time to be brooding with a lost love. He walks to Kara's room and they had sex. It's just an outlet, not the one he had with Jemma. Full of warmth and love. But this will do. He makes himself believe.

~Cause when I'm with him, I'm thinking of you. Thinking of you. What you would do if you were the one I wish spending the night. Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes.

They met again. In a battlefield, she's patching Fitz and she saw him across the mountain ranges. Her heart suddenly stopped. Her mind memorizing his features.

"He'll be like you Ward. Handsome but not a murderer."

Then her hand find its way on her stomach. A bile starting to rise on her throat.

He looks at her like how he looks at her the first time they met. His gaze dropped on her stomach. Definitely heavy with a baby on the way. He clenched his fists on his side.

"That should be my baby. But I'm a mess. A very bad mess. Jemma deserves better than me."

Then their eyes met. They were linked again.

"I miss you Ward, but we can't be like this."

"I want to be with you Jem but it's over."

Then an explosion broke their magic. When the dust settled, she's the only one on the field, with Fitz on her feet. Alive. But Grant is nowhere in sight.

Ward on the other end of the world is busy tormenting people. He wanted to forget, but shame on him. He can't even though how hard he tried.

She showers herself that night. She's on her 5th month and they decided that she'll marry Fitz once she has given birth. She knows it's not right, but it's better than her kid not having a father.

Grant paced his room like an angry lion. His own men were killed by him for nearly killing Jemma. Kara enters his room but shouts at her to leave him alone. She copies Jemma's physique.

"You will never be her. Even though how hard you try, you'll never be her."

That night, she sleeps thinking of him. That night, he sleeps thinking of her.

~You're the best, and yes I do regret how I can let myself, and let you go. Now, now the lessons learned. The touch that I was burnt oh I think you should know.

It was a shocking news to her that Coulson killed him on planet Maveth. She wanted to cry but she holds her ground. She can't let them know that she still feels for him. That she still longs for him.

She already given birth to their child a year ago, secretly in a hospital in Idaho. She filed a leave telling the team that she just wanted to see her parents, but she just wanted to bear it alone. With that, she feels strong. She named him Nicolas Douglas Ward. She keeps the name hidden from every SHIELD official. When she came back with a baby on the base, she called her baby Nicky. She's careful not to mention to them that Ward still plays a big part of them.

She excuses herself and went to her room. She pick her baby from the crib, then redresses. She went straight to one of HYDRA's base that she secretly tracked. She was welcomed with a creepy stare from them. They knew her connection to their previous leader. He was a good leader. The best HYDRA had that's why they were all mourning for Grant's death.

She stood there rooted infront of his coffin. He was definitely dead. He's pale. But he's still handsome. She sets the baby down. Nicky's like his Dad, strong and loving and smart.

"Grant.. It's me Jemma. I know you cannot hear me but I just wanted to say thank you, sorry and goodbye. Thank you for giving me happiness and that unconditional love. Sorry for lying at you and goodbye love, you will be missed."

A lone tear made its way to her supple cheeks.

"Go on baby, say goodbye to your Daddy. Tell him that you'll be missed."

Around them, Grant's men were astonished. It was his baby. They remeber the nights that Grant drinks his ass off then curse to whoever Asgardian God present that could hear him with his predicament. That the woman he loves is pregnant with other man's child.

"I will do my best Grant to raise him accordingly. I named him Nicolas Douglas Ward. After you. "

More tears fell and she let it.

"I still love you and that's what I hate about myself. I will always love you."

Then she left.

The moment that she makes it back to SHIELD's base, the commotion in HYDRA's base is unknown to her. Grant is alive by some miracle alien juju. He heard every word she said that day, including the part that Jemma's child was his. It was theirs. He knows that he's alive because of an alien iniside him that's why he fought really hard to make it leave him. And it did.

~Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you. Thinking of you. What you will do if you were the one I wish spending the night? Oh I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes, looking into your eyes. Looking into your eyes. I want you and through. Oh bust in the door and take me away oh, no more mistakes cause in your eyes I liked to stay.

It was a great commotion on her wedding day that Grant interrupted it. It's been years and their kid is already 3 years old. They were about to shoot him when they notice that Nicky was on his feet crying his eyes out.

"Noooooooo! No killing my Daddy."

He ruffled the boys head then pick him up.

"It's okay baby. Daddy's here."

"But they will kill you."

"No they won't."

Jemma was still frozen. She can't talk. It's their son who's already do the talking.

Grant, being HYDRA's head was not alone of course. He brings them just in case some bullets fly towards him. And he's silently patting his back for that but all firearms are on-hold because Nicky's life is on the line.

"Daddy. Mommy's going to marry Uncle Fitz. He's kind but I don't like him. He's not my real Daddy."

The child just keeps on wailing on his father's arm. Grant soothes his back.

"Daddy's here baby. Don't cry okay."

That magically shuts the child's crying but still he's sobbing little hiccups. His little chubby arms are still on his father's neck.

"How come he knows that Grant's his father?"

Jemma asks specifically no one in the church. Firearms are lowered down. Grant's men are still scattered inside the building.

"I did Jemma. I'm sorry."

Agent May stepped in. Everybody was astonished. All of them knew how May hates Ward and for her to do this for his sake and the child, it's quite not right.

"One night, I saw Nicky standing outside Vault D. I don't know how he gets there. I didn't ask. He just asked me if it's true that his Daddy used to be inside the locked space. I told him the truth. He wanted proof. I show him the video footages."

Jemma just nod her head then her gaze landed on Grant's. He and Nicky's uncanny resemblance can't be waved off.

"Mommy?"

Hearing her son's voice, she cannot decide. She stole a glance on Coulson's way then he spoke.

"Simmons, make a decision."

"Tell her the truth Phil." May blurted out.

"What truth?" Jemma wanted to know.

All of them are quiet now. You can hear a pin drop on the floor. Luckily, Fitz broke the defeaning silence.

"Jem, when Grant return, it's not only HYDRA he rebuilt. He also finance the construction of SHIELD."

Shock was not enough to define what Jemma feels at that moment. She felt betrayed by the people who she thought will never lie to her. But they did.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice is croaked. Tears are on the verge of spilling.

This time, it's Skye who answered her.

"Agent Ward doesn't want you to know. He thinks that you'll stop working when you found out."

The reason is actually not enough. She doesn't know what to feel.

"Jem."

"No Ward please. Don't say anything."

Everybody is watching the ex-lover's spat. Until one of the spectators had enough.

"Ward, admit it to her. You drunk you're ass off everynight because you're missing her! You built HYDRA again discreetly then fund the SHIELD too. You told us that you're doing it because it will be your advantage but the truth is you did it because Jemma was involved. And you Jemma, don't you dare lie! You still love him! You even name Nicky after him. One time I infiltrated the new SHIELD base by copying Fitz face. You were asleep on the lab couch, you were murmuring something but when I get close to you, I can see that there are tears on your face and Grant's name making its way on your mouth! So what now?"

It was Kara. She was known to be Grant's fling and no more. She doesn't want to lie although she wanted him all by herself.

Jemma snapped at that then she walked out of the church leaving all of them, including her son behind. The commotion died down.

"Daddy?"

"Jackson, ready my car. I'm driving with my son. I'm gonna get myself a wife."

He knows exactly where to find her. She's on the park by the sea. The sea. Ocean. It may not be the exact body of water where they admit their attraction to each other but still it calmed her. Open waters calmed her.

The sound of a sports car caught her attention then chubby little arms made its way to her neck.

"Mommy we found you! Don't try to run again okay?"

Jemma hugs her son. She noticed that Grant's still standing a good feet away. Their son distangle himself on her embrace then pull his father towards his mother.

It's been minutes and still no one dare to move nor speak. Nicky is already asleep. His head on his mother's lap while his legs are on his father's. The sun's reflection playing on the water is the view that captivate them both. Then, Grant spare a look on Jemma's way. She's still beautiful. Her skin is softer and fairer. Her hair is a deep auburn now. Jemma felt the weight of his stare so she tilt her head on Ward's direction. He's still perfection. His dark eyes are captivating.

"Grant."

He held her hand on his. She was trembling but he told her to be strong.

"Whatever it is. Tell me Jem. I will whole-heartedly accept it."

He smiled at her, bring her hands on his lips then kissed it. Jemma should be disgusted by his touch. He's a traitor. A liar. A murderer. But deep inside her, she knows that he's the only man that she will love. Ever love.

"I'm scared. I'm confused. I don't know what to do. When you lie to me, betray us hating you is the least thing I wanted to do. When you die, I try to move on for our son then here you are alive and well in the flesh but still.."

Grant tilted her chin so she can see the sincerity in his eyes. The tears on his are spilling.

"The moment that I fell inlove with you Jem, it's a happy accident I don't want to avoid. I need to betray you to keep Garrett off your heels and when I feel that death is imminent, my last thoughts are of you. It's okay if you won't belive me. I'm a traitor. I'm a liar. I'm a murderer.

"But you're the father of my child. Our child."

Grant laced their fingers together. She's not shaking anymore but there are still tears on her face. He thumbs it carefully away.

"I should probably take you home. It's getting dark."

She just nod her head. Grant carries their son. He held Jemma's hand then walks towards his car. The ride home is quiet. Jemma's demeanor is calm. Once they arrived at Jemma's place, he instructed Grant that the second door upstairs is Nicky's room.

"I should leave. You should rest. I'm sorry for ruining your wedding Jem."

"Grant."

He stopped walking. Then slender arms encircle his chest from behind.

"I'm glad you came today."

He turns around in her embrace. She cups her face then kissed her passionately. They were about to do more when a velvet box fall from Grant's suit pocket. She picks it up. Opened it and there she sees a very delicate ring peppered with the rare purple diamonds on the band and a big diamond on the center. She took the ring.

"Grant."

"That's yours. I bought that 3 years ago. I wanted to propose to you but then.."

"Bad things happened."

He nodded. He's mum. His head bowed down.

"Do it then love. Tonight."

Grant was surprised with what she just blurted out. Seeing the shock on his face, she can't help but laugh. He follow suit then drop down on his knees.

"Doctor Jemma Simmons with two PHDs, kneeling infont of you is a liar, a traitor, a murderer that is willing to change just to have you again. Will you make me the happiest guy in the universe?"

Jemma was again crying. The Grant Ward infront of him is an updated version of her Grant before. Cat got her tongue, she nod her acceptance of his proposal.

Grant slips the ring. It perfectly fits. She pulls his face downwards then claim his lips again. That night, they very much verify that make-up sex is the best in the world.

Sunshine made its way on Jemma's room. She was sore, but a good sore. She smiled but then it fades when she noticed that she's all alone in her bed. She thought that last night was a dream but when she raised her left hand on her view, Grant's engagement ring is still there.

She put on her robe then padded down the kitchen. She was not ready with the view that she's about to see. There in the kitchen, Grant's cooking breakfast while their son is mixing the pancake batter.

"Daddy can I put more eggs in this?"

"Let me see if the mixture is thick enough, that's enough eggs I guess sweetheart."

Jemma walks in. She was welcomed with a good morning kiss from Grant and a loud cheery "Mommy" from Nicky.

"My boys are busy early in the morning."

"Daddy told me that we should prepare breakfast for you Mommy. Daddy said he's sorry he made you tired last night."

"Grant!"

She sends Grant a sharp-eye while his only reaction is his panty-dropping smirk.

3 months later, Simmons is Simmons-Ward now. HYDRA is now fighting communal crimes while SHIELD still handles Asgardian God-related problems.

The Ward family now lives in a mansion in an exclusive island in Paris. Jemma has her lab on its Al Fresco while underground, Grant's toys are displayed.

Husband and wife are lounging outside their patio. Encircled in their embrace while their son was playing with his drone and robots.

"Grant."

"Hmm."

"I uhmm."

"What is it Babe?"

"The little parasite here wants Bunya nuts and Korean Barbeque and a French parfait"

Grant laughs with her wife antics. He knows that she doesn't want to bother him with her weird cravings but it's awesomely cute to see her shy.

"Bunya nuts are native nuts from Australia Mom. You want Dad to go there?"

"It's okay Nicky. Daddy's gonna fly."

"Can I come Dad?"

"I don't have any discord with that."

"Yehey!"

"You two be very careful."

Father and son goes on the other side of the world for Bunya nuts. It's bonding for them so Grant feels it worthy of a travel travelling. Besides, it's for Jemma and the baby's sake.

"That guy is spoiling you and your son soooooo much."

"Skye!"

"Careful Jem! If you slipped on this granite floor, Grant's going to kill me."

"Bollocks! No need for drastic measures."

Two women talks about nonsense the whole day. Skye tells Jemma juicy updates inside SHIELD and HYDRA.  
-Kara is screwing Grant's righ hand, Jackson. They forgot to turn the audiovisuals of every room off.  
-Phil is proposing to May. He bought a bluish diamond ring in Germany and still waiting for the right time to pop the question.  
-Bobbi filed a leave but then after a few days Lance follow suit. They forgot that they use SHIELD's duffle bag, so the GPS on it traced that they're on Romania together.

"And you?"

"I'm 3 months pregnant Jem."

"What?"

Due to the high pitch voice of Jemma, they never notice Grant and Nicky arriving with Jemma's cravings.

"Aunt Skye!"

"Hello Nicky you get more handsome and handsome each day."

"Of course, he got his father's looks and charisma."

"Oh shut up Grant I want to puke."

They all laugh with that sentiment then Jemma snapped back to her nearly-forgotten question.

"Who's the father Skye?"

It took her 3 minutes to answer.

"Fitz."

6 months later, Andrew Philip Ward was born and few days after, Maria Victoria Fitz was born.

Life is really one teenage dream. They mature then they became real. 


End file.
